Character Strengths Matter: How to Live a Full Life (Positive Psychology News) by Shannon Polly & Kathryn Britton

Author:Shannon Polly & Kathryn Britton [Polly, Shannon]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Positive Psychology News
Published: 2015-06-21T16:00:00+00:00

Figure 14: Love matters.

But love is not just about genes and hormones. If, as the French planter sings in South Pacific, “You have to be taught to hate and fear,” you also have to be shown how to love.

Love is about attachment, music, and odors; states that do not lend themselves to words. Song maybe, but not words. Thus, the behavioral self-regulation that we associate with love does not come from a solitary brain, but from one brain evolving and becoming shaped forever through attachment to a beloved other. Monkeys raised in isolation go on eating binges and cower in corners. Instead of playful roughhousing, they fight with their peers unto death, and they never really get the hang of copulation. All their lives such isolated monkeys remain inept “at doing what comes naturally.”

In contrast, isolated monkeys who are subsequently raised by mothers or with siblings for even one year can learn to roughhouse—gracefully stopping once social dominance is achieved. They learn to skillfully negotiate the dance steps to successful impregnation.

In closing, I may do well to remind the reader that love songs, too, are for the transmission of love.

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